The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
