I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
