I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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