too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also, beer. Big fan.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
