Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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