make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
