Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
