WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
