Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think my moral compass just broke
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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