I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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