Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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