I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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