so explain again why im purple
no
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
