loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
