thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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