My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
