so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
