and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
