Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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