It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize