ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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