How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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