i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
