we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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