Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
