No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
