Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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