she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have fence marks all over my body
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
