Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
