so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
