I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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