the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
