First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
