how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
