that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Even my vagina gasped.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
