Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
do herpes really smell.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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