I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
