Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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