I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
