Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
