Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
