i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
