I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
