I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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