Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
