That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize