WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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