have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
