I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
