How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
