I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
