So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
