Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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