I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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