Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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