My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
