ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she looked like the before picture.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
