yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
