is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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