she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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