His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
