I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
