i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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