Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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