Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
