I wannas sexs uuuuu
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
