Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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